Looking Back, Over My Shola

Posted on May 22, 2011 by Neil

 

…Or my team of the year 2010/2011…

It’s hard to be happy today. We were 3-0 up at home, looking at ninth in the league, but this meltdown (not our first of the season) dropped us to twelfth, behind the mackems and Villa. Still, thinking of the season as a whole, it is hard not to be happy with 12th, even if it should have been more. Despite the misconception that all Geordies are delusional, most would have taken 17th place at the start of the season.

Anyway, what a season. Sacked our popular manager, sold our best striker, lost to some terrible teams, beat some good teams, and turned over both the mackems and Villa at home.

So, in true blogging fashion, I’m gonna treat you to my team of the season, based upon what they did this season, not past glories or promise shown. Excited? You will be!

Team of the Season 2010-2011. Yesterday.

Goalkeeper – Steve Harper
Tim Krul had a good season, but by the end of his first run in the team he was looking a bit shaky. Harper was more solid this season, but will be pushed all the way next season by Krul and Forster.

Right back – Danny Simpson
Partly by default, us not having much else there (Ryan Taylor. Hmm.) Had a solid season, and will be steady going forward from this season. Not a position we need an urgent upgrade.

Centre Half – Fabricio Coloccini
For me, our unsung player of the year. Occasionally out-muscled, but a classy defender who has really settled in at this level, after his rabbit-in-the-headlights performances during our relegation season. Scorer of great goals, he is a poor man’s Philippe Albert. But not in a bad way.

Centre Half – Steve Taylor
Just edges out Handsome Mike Williamson, who had a very solid season, by virtue of his goals at the end of the season. We have three good centre-halves.

Left Back – Jose Enrique
After Evra and Cole, he is the best left back in the league for me. Strong, quick, skillful, Enrique has it all. Which is why he will probably leave us. Formed a great partnership with Jonas, but, with time, Shane Ferguson looks like he could at least be a safe pair of hands if needed next season (although I would hesitate to expect too much of him, based on his age, should he have to fill Tha Bull’s boots).

Centre Midfield – Cheik Tiote
He has been immense this season. He even showed a bit skill when needed, and scored an absolute screamer in the Arsenal match. If we can hold onto him, I will be over the moon. And if we get a couple more signings like him, we can really push on next season.

Centre Midfield – Kevin Nolan
Sometimes it’s hard to see what he does on the pitch, except score goals. A very important player at the club, nonetheless, and vital to the atmosphere in the squad.

Right Wing – Joey Barton
He has been outstanding this season. He owed us a good season after all he put the club through, and he really delivered. Matured greatly, and often drove us forward in games  the way Gerrard does for Liverpool. I would like to see him in the centre next season, maybe as a three with Tiote and Nolan behind whatever strikers we have, as we do look narrow on the right at times, and I think he can be even more effective in the centre. Still, the amount of influence he had on our season from out on the right testifies to his class.

Left Wing – Jonas Gutierrez
While it grates that he can’t cross the ball, and seemingly wants to play on the left despite being right-footed, his workrate and partnership on the left with Enrique have been vital to our performances this season. And he’s at least scored a few this season, even if one came off his arse.

Centre Forward – Andy Carroll
Left in acrimonious circumstances, but the effect he had when he did play for us cannot be underestimated. Quite simply, on his day he is unplayable. I just hope that Liverpool sell him back to us at a discount, similar to the way they handled Robbie Keane.

Centre Forward – Peter Lovenkrands
As much as I love Shola, I felt the Dane offered us more this season. Best is not the answer, Ranger is erratic and needs games elsewhere to improve, and Kuqi… yeah. Lightweight, but at least he gets goals.

I think most of you would have the same team. The only differences would be upfront, and maybe who to go alongside Coloccini in defence.

Looking at the team, if we can hold onto all of those (too late for Carroll, obviously), and add two strikers (good ones), then I would be confident of us pushing on. We will also probably need a left-back to replace Enrique, and maybe another winger, but striker is our main problem, at the minute.

On a final note, despite the fact that your humble author may not hold a great opinion of Michael Owen, which may have been mentioned in a humorous, yet factual account at one stage or other, I would still like to congratulate him on winning his first Premier League title. He promised that he would score an important goal this season, and it appears he was right, scoring the goal that relegated Blackpool. Nice one, EMO. You certainly deserve to hold the trophy. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise after your one start this season.

What would your NUFC team of the season be?

 

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Sho(la)down

Posted on May 16, 2011 by Neil

 

… Or how to use statistics to prove any point you want, no matter how ridiculous…

Welcome to the first in what could become a regular feature, where I compare Shola to some of the world’s leading strikers.

Round One.

First up:

"Shola!? You have got to be shitting me!"

Fernando Torres. All £50 million of him.

Seem a ridiculous comparison?

Not really.

In terms of honours, actually, the picture is remarkably similar. Both have won a second division (whatever it is called now in England) title with the their home town team. In fact I would give Shola the edge as he was a part of Newcastle’s Intertoto Cup winning team (what do you mean it wasn’t a real trophy!?). Fair enough Torres won Euro 2008 and the World Cup 2010 (without really playing) with Spain, but I would argue that Shola could have taken Torres’ role in that Spanish team and they still would have won.

So let’s look at their stats from this season, so far to try and split them apart.

Torres: 43 appearances/10 goals
Ameobi: 29 appearances/9 goals

Wow.

So, averaged out.

Torres: One goal every 4.3 appearances
Ameobi: One goal every 3.2 appearances.

Obviously, Torres has a greater body of work than Shola, despite being two years younger, but, the question stands. Who would you rather have up front for your team this season? The Pendower Pele, scoring a goal just over every three games for an inconsistent mid-table team? Or El Nino, struggling to make a mark despite being surrounded by an expensively assembled cast of talent at the second best team in the league?

I’m sorry, Fernando. The answer is obvious. I have to agree with the away fans at Stamford Bridge yesterday: “You’re just a shit Ameobi”*

The Pendower Pele after hitting the back of the net. You'd struggle to find a pic of Torres in a Chelsea shirt in a similar pose.

*This season at least.

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AmeobiOverload

Posted on May 15, 2011 by Neil

 

…Or how to solve a problem like Shola…

The one and only Shola Ameobi. On a bike. Looking for hats. Yesterday.

Shola.

Shola Ameobi.

The Fenham Eusebio. The Pendower Pele.

What is it about the man who has divided the opinions of Newcastle fans ever since his debut in 2000?

182 starts over eleven years isn’t a great record, which, (many would say thankfully) is due to his problems with injuries and us having better forwards at the club during the time (Ferguson, Shearer, Bellamy, Carroll, Martins etc). He has struggled throughout his time at the club to hold down a place in the starting line-up, but once we were relegated he was due to become the focal point of our attack. And he started the season well, with a hat-trick against Reading being a great memory from our promotion season. But, as ever with Shola, injuries, and the partnership between Peter Lovenkrands and Andy Carroll meant that he did not get much of a look-in that season.

Whatever you can say about the lad, and a lot has been said about him over the years, he is currently the best striker we have.

And that is a damning indictment of our squad.

On occassion, he looks brilliant, but these occurrences are few and far between. His combination of size and footwork, when he plays with some aggression (which is rare), can be unplayable. I think all Newcastle fans have heard of ex-players saying that Ameobi was the best footballer we have at the club, and the frequently heard claim that he is a world beater in training.

The problem with Shola is that he never builds on the back of his good performances with a run of form. Even if he has a cracking game, he will go back to being the usual timid Shola by the next game, when we want to see him marauding around the pitch like the angry bear he can be.

What we usually see, however, is him standing in an offside position. I have no idea how someone can play the game at the top level for eleven years, earning a handsome wage to invest in an impressive hat collection, without understanding the offside rule.

And when he is not standing offside, he is either falling over or lumbering halfheartedly around the pitch without any degree of purpose.

I remember hearing Alan Shearer say that Shola could be as good as he wanted to be – the issue was not talent but desire. And that is probably 100% accurate. He can look fantastic. And he can look terrible.

So – looking ahead – aside from his goals against the mackems, how will people remember the Ameobi name after he is gone (and at 29, that could still be quite a few years)?

A disappointment?

Maybe. But there is still hope in the form of Sammy Ameobi, Shola’s brother. Based on his ten minutes against Chelsea today (which is all I have seen of him), I would not like to get carried away. He certainly seems more enthusiastic and pacey than his brother, although he also displayed the same tendency to fall over without provocation (it must be a genetic thing). And Shola seemed to pick up his game somewhat by having Sammy on the pitch at a moment which most of been a source of great pride for both of them.

I do like Shola, and I will always wish him well, but I don’t think he is actually a very good footballer. Let’s hope the new Ameobi will leave us with less frustrating memories of the Ameobi name.

And goals against the mackems also.

What do you think of Shola?

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