Sho(la)down. Round Two.


… Or how to use statistics to prove any point you want, no matter how ridiculous… again…

Welcome to the second in what could become a regular feature, where I compare Shola to some of the world’s leading strikers.

Round Two.

Who is next:

"Shola Ameobi is not better than me. Don't believe this gobshite."

Diego Forlan. Winner of the golden ball (for best player) and joint top scorer at the last World Cup.

Seem a ridiculous comparison?

Not really.

And before you start, I’m not going to take Forlan’s disappointing record this season as evidence against him. As a serious blogger-type sort of fella, I am too professional to base the comparison on just one season.

When comparing two strikers, it is best to compare their records in similar circumstances. I firmly believe Shola would have shone in both the Spanish League and as part of the Uruguayan strikeforce at the World Cup alongside Luis Suarez, but, in order to be fair, and statistically valid, let’s look at how they have both performed in the Premier League.

So, football fans, let’s look at their stats:

Forlan: 23 appearances (plus 40 as a sub)/10 goals
Ameobi: 116 appearances (plus 80 as a sub)/36 goals

So, averaged out (including sub appearances).

Forlan: One goal every 6.3 appearances
Ameobi: One goal every 5.44 appearances.

Obviously, Forlan has the individual honours, but, the question is: Who would you rather have up front for your team in the Premier League? The Pendower Pele, scoring a goal every five games or so for an inconsistent team? Or Cachavacha, struggling to hit a goal every six appearances for Manchester United?

I’m sorry, Diego. The answer is obvious.

Shola wins by TKO.

There’s only one Ameobi.

Well, in fact there is two. So it’s like take one Ameobi, get another one for free. Two Ameobis! The choice is easy.

About Neil

28 years old. Geordie. Lived in Berlin almost three years. All-round canny lad.
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9 Responses to Sho(la)down. Round Two.

  1. Roger Payne says:

    Love it. My over-riding memory of Diego Forlan in English football was when he did finally score he took his top off to celebrate but then couldn’t get it back on in time for kick off, so had to scamper around topless with it in his hand. Think he actually made a tackle before the ref ordered him off the pitch to sort himself out.

    As a wider, and altogether more serious point, I do wonder how many of English football’s lamented striking talents would do on the continent. If the likes of Tomasson, Xisco, Kezman, Rebrov, Futre (got to stop for the sake of my sides) can forge half-decent reputations with half-decent European sides, it may be a decent career move rather than the obligatory “loan to Championship club”. In a completely hypothetical scenario, I reckon Shola could be a (very) poor man’s Freddy Kanoute any day.

    • Neil says:

      I remembered him stripping, but wasn’t until I did my ‘in-depth research’ that I recalled that. Actually, I was surprised that his record was as good as it was – I somehow, perhaps naively, thought it would be much worse.

      I like the Shola comparison, although I’m pretty sure Kanoute was reasonably lethal in England (at least more so than our beloved Shola!). Point taken about the others – perhaps sending Nile Ranger on loan to another country would help, seeing as his problems seem to stem from both attitude and continued exposure to friends who are bad influences.

      • Roger Payne says:

        Aye. Think English football’s exports have been limited to Matt Derbyshire, Colin Kazim-Richards and Jay Bothroyd in recent times. Two of those three managed a spot of Champions League football and one of them ended up being bezzie mates with Colonel Gaddafi’s son. Travel broadens the mind…

        I have a bit of a soft spot for Kanoute as he was in the ‘Eidur Gudjohnsen league’ of being pretty class but not having star quality and never scoring a particular goal that made you sit up / remember they were there. See also Sanli Tuncay.

        • Neil says:

          Ha – it does indeed.

          Not a particular fan of Tuncay, but he is a worker and scores goals. Gudjohnsen was class though.

  2. Neel Rastogi says:

    Mate – love your dedication to the Shola cause….

    Who’s next???

  3. great post I’m a big United fan from S Africa looking forward to this weeks games

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